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Monday, January 7, 2008

Catholic Guilt Trip Does a Number on Me

First Fr. Erik said that if "you loved Jesus" you should do this blog. Then Angela Messenger at her new website tagged everyone with a vowel in his/her name ... so ... herewith more about me that you didn't especially want to know. But, as you've probably figured out, I'm a sucker for these things anyway, so I didn't need much coaxing.

(Where the elite meet to eat. See #3)

1. Do you wear a name tag at work? HELL, no.
2. What kind of car do you drive? Mine is also green and has 4 wheels. There seems to be a lot of that going around You can see a picture of it here.
3. What do you order when you go to Taco Bell? Seldom go there, as there's a bombing 24/7/365 one-of-a-kind Mexican food drive through not far from my house.
I was going to blog about that soon, but I decided it would be a fun picture to use here.
4. Have you ever had a garage sale? No.
5. What color is your iPod? Nope. No iPod. I only got a microwave this Christmas and held out on the cell phone to last year. I'm not a Luddite or anything, having worked in computer programming for 17 years. It's. Just. That. I. Don't. Need. *Everything* Right. Away.
6. What kind of dog do you have? No doggie currently. My last was an English Springer Spaniel, Maggie, named after Margaret Thatcher and Princess Margaret. In the past I jointly owned a beagle, Mr. Mike (first dog), a Heinz 57, Taffy, and an Irish Setter, Brian (dumber than a post, but gorgeous.)
7. What's for dinner tonight? Like I can think that far ahead? It will be whatever strikes me.
8. What is the last alcoholic beverage you had? I don't know if you can count the Communion Wine. Other than that a shot of whiskey, Seagram's 7 at New Years at midnight.
9. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone? Nothing. Yet. Give me time.
10. Last time you were sick? Last week. You don't want to know.
11. How long is your hair? For the moment almost shoulder length. I had it way overly long for a while, and cut it about 6 weeks ago.
12. Are you happy right now? I'm STRESSED OUT right now.
13. What did you say last? To anyone? "See you next week." To the saintly Father S. as we were leaving Mass, haven't spoken to anyone since. Oh, I've uttered snatches of song here and there, just haven't come face to face with anyone yet today.
14. Who came over last? The Fire Department. They agree with me my neighbor has his head up his a$$. Don't go there with me.
15. Do you drink beer? When the occasion calls for it. Not often, but about 5 times a year I get into a *I could REALLY use a beer right now." mood. St. Pauli's girl or Budweiser, or if my friend Jim has some Heiffewieseen or however you spell it, I'm game.
16. Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted? No siblings. So I missed all that along with the "would you stop touching me. Mom, make her stop looking at me" stuff.
17. What is your favorite key chain on your keys? Okay, I'm a jerk. No doo-dad, but just a bigass ring.
18. What did you get for graduation? College graduation - a thousand smackers to add to my Grand Tour of Europe slush fund which I later took with my college best friend and her big sister that August of 78.
19. What's in your pocket? Wallet, Olympus WS300 recorder, and 53 cents and a crumbled up dollar I should have known better to put in my wallet but didn't.
20. Who introduced you to Dane Cook? Who?
21. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? What's a Build-A-Bear? Already I feel cheated!
22. What DVD is in your DVD player? Niente d'affato. That's Italian for BUPKIS. My computer DVD player anyway. The DVD player attached to the TV has.... wait a minute while I go look ... OH. Richard Burton's Hamlet performance. The one he did on Broadway in the early 60s. I've been affecting a low-brow air with this blog. Don't tell anyone. I don't want you to blow my cover. It will be our little secret, okay?
23. What's something fun you did today? The post I did re: Father Blake's dancing girls. I thought I was going "dry" there for that first week in January.
24. Who is/was the principal of your high school? Soph. Year. Fr. William Cornelison, who defected to get married the summer of '72. No kidding. (It was the early 70s, my RELIGION teacher also defected - same thing, to marry the nun who was head of the high school religion department. Is it any wonder my generation is so "confused?" The next two years we got MISTER Dennis Hart. No more shennanigans, thank you very much. "At least" both priests were heterosexual for sure ... God only knows what some of them would be running away to get "married" with today. So at least we were spared that trauma.
25. Has your house ever been TP'd? No. Although I was a kid that got along pretty well with everyone, I was never popular to *that* degree! [I guess one trying aspect to explain to a Mongolian immigrant who spent his early years in a yurt is why popular kids would be the target of getting their house TP'd. It's an American thang I expect. Maybe the Mongolian equivalent is putting acutal buffalo dung on the roof. I can just see HIS mom and dad, "get that **** off the roof" would be literal!]]
26.What do you think of when you hear the word "meow"? Who's harboring CATS around here?!
27. What are you listening to right now? Pretty Little Picture ♫ from A FUNNY Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum. [OCR w/Nathan Lane] To cap the normal "triplets" a la many lyricists, Sondheim did some nifty ones, the line"The sand and the sea and the stars in the sky and soft little satisfied sigh" comes just after the snippet following the link. (From now on any time you see a link iwht the little musical note/notes, know it's a 30 second sound clips. Loads quickly, even for duffers like me with dial up.)
28. Drinking? Last drank a can of RC Cola. I was in a nostalgic mood and got some. When I was a kid my dad worked for Royal Crown Cola for quite a number of years. I was twelve or so before I drank an actual Coke. Out of loyalty. Dad was impressed! ]I drank other soft drinks, particularly A-Treat, *the* specialty of Lehigh County, Pa. - just not Coke.]
29. What is your favorite aisle at Wal-Mart? Don't go often, but I suppose the DVD stuff. Never know when you're going to see something good amongst all the dreck.
30. When is your mom's birthday? August 4th.
31. When is your birthday? My aunt used to call me "The Last Rose of Summer." Sept. 18th.
32. What's the area code for your cell phone? 619
33. Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now? Not wearing one! [But I DO have a sweatshirt on. Black mitt neon windex blue letteringer saying "The Laguna Playhouse," with two artsy fartsy art deco purple stick figure dancers. It's "spiffy." Yes. I bought it myself for theatre blacks. The perfect light weight sweatshirt. Goes nicely with the black T-shirt I have with the black lettering that says on the front "It's a theatre thing" and on the back "you wouldn't understand."
34. Is there anything hanging from your rear view mirror? NO!
35. How many states in the US have you been to? Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, New York, New Jersey, Delaware, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, North Carolina, (how the hell I managed to miss South Carolina I don't know but it really ticks me off because it's the only state on the eastern seaboard I haven't been to), Georgia, Tennessee (a little itty bitty corner of it anyway), Floriduh, West Virginia, Ohio, Indiana (don't tell anyone, I spent a year there one month), Michigan, Illinois (technically only O'Hare, but I've been through there SO many times I have to count it), Missouri, Kansas, Texas, Colorado, Wyoming Utah, Arizona, Nevada, California, Oregon, Washington, and Hawaii. Before I die I want to "collect the whole set." Except, possibly, Arkansas, because it might be fun to leave one out. So far 33 in all.
36. What kind of milk do you drink? Hate milk. Always have. A "dark day" from age two was when I turned my glass upsidedown as a "no thank you" which I had seen adults do when the waitress would come over with coffee in a restaurant. How was I to know that it wasn't done if your mother was POISED to pour you the drink with the milk just over the glass, and turned to your dad to answer a question? Fade to black.... If I DO consume any, it's in a vanilla or chocolate Jello pudding or EGGNOG, which totally rocks.
37. What are you going to do after this? I owe, I owe, its off to work I go....
38. Who was the last person you went shopping with? Couldn't you ask something easier? Like "Who put the dexadrine in Mrs. Murphy's ovaltine? ♫" I HATE shopping. I am loathe to do it in a group endeavour unless by accident. I think the LAST accident last year before Christmas when a friend, her mom and I had gone to see a movie, and afterwards they did a quick run in to Bed, Bath and Beyond. And then it was just "in and out."
39. What is your favorite fruit? Apples.
40. What about your favorite dessert? Cherries Jubilee. But as that happens soooo infrequently: as of late Creme Brulee. [I don't feel like looking up the unicode for the fancy schmansy accent aigue.] OR white cake with white BUTTER CREME frosting. [Take that whipped creme stuff and throw it away, it doesn't belong on cake.]
41. What is something you need to go shopping for? As soon as I get some extra bucks I'm going to throw out every stitch of ratty old underwearout and get ALL NEW THINGS. Or is that TMI?
42. Do you have the same name as one of your relatives? Negatory.
43. What kind of car does one of your siblings drive? No siblings. But if HAD any, they probably wouldn't be driving any weeny little cars because I'd be mercilessly giving them crap over it.
44. Do you like pickles? Bigtime. Salt is My F*R*I*E*N*D.
45. How about olives? Yes, when I'm feeling in need of a spree I go get the ones stuffed with Blue Cheese.
46. What is your favorite kind of gum? None.
47. What is your favorite kind of juice? Apple cider.
48. Do you have any tan lines? I live in California, I have them whether I want them or not. Which is just as well because I have that pale European skin coloring that in my case would be positively ghost like otherwise. I try and not get too much sun to avoid "that leathery look" but have a bit of year round what the French would call "an agricultural tan" a little more on my left forearm as that's the one that rests on the open window when I'm driving if I'm in a "free spirit who needs AC and to worry about getting grit in a contact lenses?" kind of mood.
49. What hospital were you born in? Sacred Heart, Allentown, Pa. ... which gives me the idea for a blog entry maybe later this week if I can find the right bumph. [Which is a British term for "paper" I wish they'd adopt over here.]

Considered yourself tagged if you love Jesus, have a vowel in your first name, AND don't mind like making an ass of yourself by being honest about the questions.


ooljeeaingeal said...

hey karen its mary. your blog is hi lar ious! email me if you get a second.!

Anonymous said...

Karen-or should I say, "last rose of Summer?"
Very good job on your "guilt trip" meme. Thank goodness there are a few more in this world who hate shopping, besides me.

The Digital Hairshirt said...

I am with you in spirit on #3 - up here in SanTana, I head to either Taqueria de Anda or Taqueria Castillo.

No quiero esta pinche basura a Taco Bell! (Pardon my French)

gemoftheocean said...

Hey, Mary - you could have called yourself "Jill of the Amazing Wolverine tribe!" == I'll drop you a note later today. Mum's the word to Marky-Mark.

Tara, so help me, the only store I am not loathe to step in is a book store - I can handle the grocery story and the pharmacist, but just barely. If I have to go to a physical store, I pick Barnes and Noble, or gloriously a used book shop. What ever gene most women have that's called the "whoo-hoo, LET'S GO SHOPPING" gene - I missed it. I can also pick up DVDs and CDs in the B&N or mercifully order on line.

Digi: Spanish is the one language I refuse to study, but via 35+ years of living in SoCal, plus 6 years of french, 1 year of Italian, and 1 year and two academic quarters of latin, my best estimate is that you said "Lips that touch Taco Bell will never touch mine" or
"I would never drive through a ****ing Taco Bell." It's much more fun to guess at Spanish than actually know it. Somewhat along the lines of William F. Buckley, on hearing the news that he'd been declared "Persona non grata" from Rhodesia. He declared that was fine by him as "it was more fun to be declared so than to actually go there."

Mulier Fortis said...

Good one, Karen...

...and thanks for the get-out clause in your tag line!!

BTW you won't have seen my "Christmas List" anywhere else, because I wrote it...

Anonymous said...

Karen--YES! me too--I love book stores--I could spend hours in a book store. Jim usually goes grocery shopping with me--it's so incredibly painful--I need support--I missed out on the "girl" shopping gene--thank you Jesus.

Therese said...

lol. Can you be stressed and happy?

I love your meme. I did this one too.

gemoftheocean said...

Tara, big time. There's a major shopping center in town that other than the movies or the Cheesecake Factory (a restaurant) I haven't been to in ages. I couldn't tell you were the anchor stores are or what they are with any certainty. And I even don't go to the movies there very often as they are a buck more than the place that's a little closer!


Stephen said...

Whoa. Long meme.


1. Do you wear a name tag at work?

No. I do sometimes have to wear a name tag at conferences.

2. What kind of car do you drive?

Shanks's pony.

3. What do you order when you go to Taco Hell?

No quiero taco bell, por que no me gusto vomir.

4. Have you ever had a garage sale?


5. What colour is your iPod?


6. What kind of dog do you have?

I don't. I've never had a dog.

7. What's for dinner tonight?

Last night's leftovers - beef stew and rice.

8. What is the last alcoholic beverage you had?

A pint of bitter on Boxing Day - I got dragged to the pub by my aunt's better half. He drank about three in the time it took me to drink one, I'm not much of a drinker.

9. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?

Giving the number to someone I'd rather didn't have it.

10. Last time you were sick?

Slightly sick? I had a migraine the other week. Really ill, a couple of years ago (glandular fever).

11. How long is your hair?

Short. And it needs cutting, it's usually shorter than it is at the moment.

12. Are you happy right now?

I've been happier. Not particularly, no. Rough year.

13. What did you say last?

"See you on Saturday. Bye." - phone call.

14. Who came over last?

My brother.

15. Do you drink beer?

Not often!

16. Have your brothers and sisters ever told you that you were adopted?

No, and I look so much like my mother's side of the family that nobody try it even as a joke.

17. What is your favourite key chain on your keys?

There's only one, a blue enamel owl given to me by my friend Mark about 20 years ago (he bought it on holiday in France and was surprised to discover the other week that I still have it. Our school's insignia was an owl).

18. What did you get for graduation?

Cards only both times. I'm not expecting gifts when I go for the hat-trick either.

What's in your pocket?

Jeans - wallet, keys, change.

Coat - mobile phone, pen, packet of kleenex, mints, pipe, tobacco, pipe cleaners, lighter, pipe tool, piece of paper with a shopping list scribbled on it.

20. Who introduced you to Dane Cook?

Nobody so far. Did I miss anything?

21. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear?

No, though I did buy someone a bear from The Bear Factory (British equivalent) as a gift. My grandmother made the teddy bear I had as a child herself, from scratch, without a pattern. She was very clever at things like that.

22. What DVD is in your DVD player?

"Les Parapluies de Cherbourg"

23. What's something fun you did today?

The crosscode puzzle in the Manchester Evening News. In 7 minutes (I start doing it when the train leaves Manchester Victoria, and it's a good day if I've finished it before the train arrives at Ashton-Under-Lyne 10 minutes later. Today was a *very* good day).

24. Who was/is the principal of your high school?

I can picture him, but I'm blanking his name. Seriously.

25. Has your house ever been TP'd?


26. What do you think of when you hear the word 'meow'?

David Beame, dammit.

27. What are you listening to right now?

A song called "Eternelle Rebelle", sung by Diane Tell, from a French musical about James Dean.

28. Drinking?

Diet Coke.

29. What is your favourite aisle at Wal-Mart?

DVDs, I suppose. When in Canada, I do shop at Wal-Mart fairly regularly. In the USA, I prefer Target. In the UK, I stay away from ASDA (Wal-Mart's trading brand here - they took over a British chain).

30. When is your mom's birthday?

December 23rd. And yes, we have to give her separate birthday and Christmas presents. We've heard all about her childhood trauma (her sister's birthday is in the summer, so she got separate presents and Mum often didn't, and it wasn't fair).

32. What's the area code for your cell phone?

I have two. The Canadian one is for area code 416. British cell phones don't have geographic area codes - it's 07923, which denotes the service provider.

33. Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now?

A Zellers in Scarborough, Ontario.

34. Is there anything hanging from your rear view mirror?

No. I don't have a rear view mirror.

35. How many states in the US have you been to?

New Hampshire, Vermont, New York, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia, Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska, Colorado, Utah, Nevada, Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana, Idaho, Wyoming, Washington, California, Texas, Arizona, New Mexico and Louisiana. And the District of Columbia. I've never been to Florida.

36. What kind of milk do you drink?

I was brought up on unpasteurised milk, and I don't really like the taste of any other kind. Basically, I don't drink milk.

37. What are you going to do after this?

Watch a rerun of SVU that I taped earlier.

38. Who was the last person you went shopping with?

My mother, for floor tiles for her new kitchen.

39. What is your favourite fruit?


40. What is your favourite dessert?

Raspberry cheesecake.

41. What is something you need to go shopping for?


42. Do you have the same name as one of your relatives?


43. What kind of car does one of your siblings drive?

Only have one sibling. A black 2006 Vauxhall Vectra (they're sold in the US, with a different engine, as the Saturn Aura, though my brother's is a hatchback, which isn't offered in the US - you only get the sedan version).

44. Do you like pickles?

Depends what kind, and how fresh they are. I like pickles that are crunchy. I *hate* pickled eggs.

45. How about olives?


46. What is your favourite kind of gum?

Sugar-free spearmint.

47. What is your favourite kind of juice?


48. Do you have any tan lines?

No. I've been in Britain for the past year.

49. What hospital were you born in?

Oldham Royal Infirmary, which no longer exists.

Stephen said...

Left out #31. November 10th.

The Digital Hairshirt said...

Karen -- Horton Plaza?

"Pinche" is a rather rude word. I should not use it in public. I apologize. Yes, it carries the equivalent of the word "f***ing", as in "That pinche gabacho just asked me if I eat at Taco Bell – que culero!"

Man, I got to get to confession this Saturday . . .

gemoftheocean said...

Digi! AHA, I WAS "close" then! Here all these years I thought it was "binche!" I stand correctomunded.

BTW, I had picked up the work "cachingadera" from one of my non-hispanic but spanish speaking friends, who'd picked it up from HER spanish friends. I thought it an excellent word. One day after Mass, a Latino woman I've known for ages was having difficulty with a card table that was giving her "grief" while she was trying to fold it. I said "I think it's this cachingadera right here that's the problem" and I had it folded. She laughed so HARD and said "I didn't know you knew Spanish" and I said, only the GOOD words!

Stephen: You NAUGHTY boy. So help me, when I saw this comment:

"26. What do you think of when you hear the word 'meow'?

David Beame, dammit."

I literally laughed out loud, hysterically for about five minutes. Only YOU would remember that troll from a good, what? 8 or 9 years ago now? Lord. I had completely forgotten that. Thanks for the memories. And your reference to Ashton-Under-Lyme. there really IS such a place. here I thought Flanders and Swann had made it up for "I'm a Gnu." -- I think that's the song it's in, Docbender's borrowed my F&S set. I'm impressed by your list of states. I had no idea you were so extensively travelled here. 29 is an impressive number, for a good many Americans, I only have you beaten by a few states, and you've been to a few I haven't been to....however did you get to North Dakota? Get on the wrong plane by accident?

re: the name tag thing. I'm loathe to put one on at a conference and don't keep it on for more than two seconds. Whenever I see a buxom woman wearing one, I always want to ask "okay, what do you call the OTHER one?" Being, a-hem, so endowed myself, I refrain....
fearing I might punch someone's lights out if they asked me the same!


Stephen said...

How did I get to North Dakota? Train. Seriously. And then I ate at TGI Friday's and took a bus to the CATS theatre. Dammit.

Just kidding.

Re: strategically placed name badges/logos - when Virgin started operating cross-country rail services in the UK, their staff uniforms originally had the Virgin logo on the breast panel of the shirt, with the staff member's base city embroidered in underneath. That was changed after women at their south-west base understandably objected to walking around in shirts emblazoned with "Virgin Bristol" over their chestal area.

Stephen said...

Oh - and Ashton-Under-Lyne is definitely a real place. It's the next town to my hometown. The friend who gave me the owl keychain grew up in Ashton, and his parents still live there:

swissmiss said...

The fire department? Guess your neighbors are the definition of "meow."

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum, the original with Zero M., is hubby's favorite.

I'll have to do this meme if I get a chance. Kind o' lengthy though!

Phil said...

Wow! To know me is to love me, huh!?

The Crescat said...

catholic guilt strikes again. ;-P

gemoftheocean said...

CC: Pity to poor people born of Jewish and Catholic parents -- they probably have a guilt complex most of us would never be able to fathom the depths of. [okay, I know that sentence ended in a preposition, but what do you want for free entertainment?]


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