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Thursday, April 23, 2009

Pardon me all to hell and begone


For not posting yesterday. In honor of Earth Day I was gas-assing around in a Humvee, leaving as big a carbon foot print as I possibly could. I mooned Al Gore, burned down a rain forest, left all the lights on everywhere I went, and made sure to strew enough plastic bags around the gutters. Then I wasted water by hosing them down the sewerage system, and out to the ocean, where they will undoubtedly choke a bunch of transgendered dolphins and whales, and maybe even some baby seals. I also smoked half a carton of Camel Cigarettes, just to piss people off. I urged everyone I saw to stop doing what they were doing and go make some more babies. Then I rented a private Lear jet and just got back from doing an around the world victory lap. So I'm just a weensie bit tired. But I can probably still find some asbestos to poke holes in.

BTW: I'm celebrating "Earth Day" as an Octave ! This morning I asked for plastic at the checkout stand...and smiled after some long haired Maggot infested New York Times readin', Jerry Springer Watching ageing behind-me-in-line hippy said "wow, after all Ophra said about plastic bags yesterday." (She was emaciated and had green skin, too!) I'm going to drive around the block a few times extra just in her honor today. And then I'm going to change the oil in my car and put the oil in some landfil.

10 comments:

Angela M. said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!

gemoftheocean said...

Oh, and I've been having enough hot flashes this last week to raise the temperature of the earth 1 degree Fahrenheit all by myself.

Joe of St. Thérèse said...

This entry isnt helping my cough its soo funny my attempts to laugh are coughs

gemoftheocean said...

Sorry Joe, have a whiskey, it won't cure you, but you won't care!
[thanks, glad I made you and Angela M laugh - sometimes when you [that's "one" to you UK volken] write this stuff it's hard to tell if you're making anyone else laugh]

Terry Nelson said...

ROFLMAO too! I actually tuned into thee news yesterday and Oprah was just finishing and I heard her call to stop using plastic bags. LOL! I take extra plastic bags at the store to place the used cat litter in.

I can't believe a customer would actually say that to another in the store. I'm embarrassed to even mention I catch the ending of the Oprah show - she is right before the 5PM news here.

gemoftheocean said...

Honest to God. When that happened this morning I chuckled right in her face!

RJW said...

I celebrated by burning a 12 foot high pile of brush and tree limbs and driving a diesel tractor for a solid hour. I wouldn't have done it on "Earth Day" if AlGore hadn't dared me to do it.

Mrs Jackie Parkes MJ said...

I am getting a top of the range 4 by 4 landrover in the next few weeks! Really!

mum6kids said...

Ah Karen, I just LOVE the fact you write what I think!

gemoftheocean said...

Jackie, I thought Andrew was a p'liceman, not a bank robber. ;-D [Good on you! ]

Mum: Well, It's a privilege to say what you want without caring after age 50. OF course I did that BEFORE I was 50 too...

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