Thursday, April 23, 2009
Pardon me all to hell and begone
For not posting yesterday. In honor of Earth Day I was gas-assing around in a Humvee, leaving as big a carbon foot print as I possibly could. I mooned Al Gore, burned down a rain forest, left all the lights on everywhere I went, and made sure to strew enough plastic bags around the gutters. Then I wasted water by hosing them down the sewerage system, and out to the ocean, where they will undoubtedly choke a bunch of transgendered dolphins and whales, and maybe even some baby seals. I also smoked half a carton of Camel Cigarettes, just to piss people off. I urged everyone I saw to stop doing what they were doing and go make some more babies. Then I rented a private Lear jet and just got back from doing an around the world victory lap. So I'm just a weensie bit tired. But I can probably still find some asbestos to poke holes in.
BTW: I'm celebrating "Earth Day" as an Octave ! This morning I asked for plastic at the checkout stand...and smiled after some long haired Maggot infested New York Times readin', Jerry Springer Watching ageing behind-me-in-line hippy said "wow, after all Ophra said about plastic bags yesterday." (She was emaciated and had green skin, too!) I'm going to drive around the block a few times extra just in her honor today. And then I'm going to change the oil in my car and put the oil in some landfil.