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Friday, April 10, 2009

Church - it should be a welcoming experience

After Easter, we will be reaching out to all those Catholics who are having a hard time getting to regular Sunday Mass. In the interest of bringing people back in to the fold there will be a "No Excuse" Mass.

1. Cots will be placed in the vestibule and choir loft for those who say "Sunday is my only day to sleep in".

2. We will have steel helmets for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who say it is too hot.

3. We will have hearing aids for those who say "The Priest talks too softly", and cotton for those who say HE preaches too loudly.

4. Score cards for those who wish to list hypocrites present.

5. Some relatives will be in attendance for those who like to go visiting on Sundays.

6. There will be TV dinners for those who can't go to Church and cook dinner also. (Thank you new TV dinner ministry!)

7. One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to see God in Nature.

8. Finally the Sancuary will be decorated with both Christmas pointsettias and Easter Lillies for those who have never seen the church without them.


Joe of St. Thérèse said...

LOL!, This sounds exactly like a parish in my area that isn't mine, lol

gemoftheocean said...

And frankly, they should put a smoking section in too. I'd join them during a certain party's sermons, and I don't even smoke.

Anonymous said...

ROFL! Those are great new ministries Karen.

X said...

Love it!

gemoftheocean said...

Tara, I also ought to have a chaise-lounge section to for people who like to lay outside in nice weather. Then there could also be a suntan lotion "ministry."

Dominic Mary said...

But where is the golf ministry ? ;-)

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