PLAY BALL!

That salt-of-
the-
earth-
priest, Fr. Blake, in Brighton, UK at St. Mary Magdalen has taken some exception to the baseball caps worn by a coterie of priests at some Mass or other. Despite the tongue in cheek ribbing I've been giving him, I would agree that in general this sort of thing shouldn't be done.

HOWEVER, though I'd look daggers at any priest who did this at an indoor Mass, I have to cut a slight bit of slack to priests who throw in the towel and resort to a hat, even a baseball hat, in lieu of keeling over in the heat.

A while back Fr. Martin Fox had written about attending one of the outdoor Masses with the pope, and he related how long they were on the field ... quite a few hours before the Mass ... and then the Mass itself.

I can just imagine how the conversation went:

Fr. Cornelius: Dudes, I have HAD IT, sweat is now rolling off my head down into my jockey shorts. I don't care, I *AM* going to buy a ball cap from the vendor and wear it.

Fr. Clark: DON'T. You'll get us in trouble.

Fr. Cornelius: Shut your piehole, Clark ... you were always a goody two shoes, even in seminary.

Fr. Clark: That is NOT true, you know....

Frs. Manny, Moe, and Jack: Clark, shut up -- he IS right....we're getting caps too, you can join us or be a putz....the bishops can't reassign us *all* out to St. Nowheresville.

Fr. Jack: Hey, Chip and Dale ... you guys look a little, oh, light in the loafers in those golf caps. They make everyone look light in the loafers ... unless you are actually *playing* golf.

Frs. Chip and Dale: Where do you think we just came from?

Fr. Jack: Well, at least get the same caps we have.

Frs. Chip and Dale: Can't - we just spent our last bucks on beer.

Frs. Manny, Moe, Jack, and Cornelius: You guys are drinking that swill? G'wan. Get some. We'll send the bill to the bishop and we'll sign it with Clark's name.

Fr. Clark: HEY! Cut that out. I'm telling s'str!

Fr. Cornelius: I'm shaking. Yeah, it will probably go on our permanent records too.

Go to Hell Pants

Go2Hell Glory
What can I say? I'm a tra-
dition-
alist! Now there may be finer moments of sartorial excitement - getting ready for one's wedding day, donning papal robes for the first time - you get the picture. But nothing says: "I am in a good mood right now, and if you disturb the good vibes I am sending out right now by bothering me with anything more complicated than a chi-chi or mai-tai, you have GOT to be kidding me. It must be 5 o'clock somewhere, and wherever that somewhere is, I am there, NOW, in spirit." Women can get away with these prints more than a man (poor things) but every well dressed man has at least one pair of go2hell golf pants. Typically go2hell plaid or go2hell alligator print.

I can't decide to wear them with go2hell lime green, go2hell yellow (I don't look good in yellow - so that's probably out) or go2hell fuschia, or go2hell pink. I suppose I could throw the lime green linen shirt in the wash, and it will be ready by the time I have to go to Mass. [No worries, an alb goes over the ensemble for Mass.] Being "the season" if I run into the pastor, he will have knocked off for the day, and it's a 50-50 shot he will have on go2Hell Hawaiian. The celebrant, will be stuck with showing up in his blacks.

I've often wondered if the pope has lounging around clothing. That must be one of the things NOT fun about being pope. There have to be times you just want to get in the car and go down to the 7/11 for a slurpee, or whatever the Kraut equivalent of that is without a lot of hoo-ha. For all I know he may have a pair of go2hell boxers. Many moons ago when I was assisting with daily mass I was setting up the items for Mass and Fr. [uber Mick] M. walks into the sacristy. March 17th. Me: "Where's your green?" He carefully looked around and gently tugged out the top band of his go2hell green boxers. Ha-ha. Given Benedict's penchant for red Prada shoes, it wouldn't surprise me if there was a pair of go2hell red boxers in the papal dresser drawer.