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Sunday, February 17, 2008

The Moses get Together

Of all the happenings in the New Testament, today's gospel one of my favorite stories because it is so puzzling. Why in the heck would Jesus be taking time out of his busy day to have a chat with Moses and Elijah? I also pity St. Andrew a little. Suppose you had an older brother, you saw your boss-to-be first and told your brother about Him....who does the Boss like best? Big brother.

Consider the scene after the resurrection and the apostles are kicking around old memories about Jesus.

James: Hey, and then there was the time Moses and Elijah appeared. Man, Peter, you should have seen the look on your face, I thought you were going to run in six different directions at once!

Peter: Yeah, well you weren't looking in the pink of health either, and you tried to hide behind John and me.

James: How could I hide "behind you" guys... you were dumbstruck, lying prostrate, thinking you'd seen a ghost.

Peter: WE DID! Two, in fact.... we left you enough room in the ditch to pile right on top of us, what are you bitching about?

Andrew: How come *I* never heard about that?

Peter: He told us not to tell anyone "the vision we'd seen" until later.

Andrew: So what did Moses and Elijah and Jesus talk about?

Peter: How the heck do we know? It was in ancient Hebrew from centuries ago, do I LOOK like I would understand that stuff? Well, actually, I think I DO know, but I'm not telling because then centuries from now people will be wondering and it's always nice to have a secret that no one knows about except me, James and John.

Andrew: You're not even going to tell your own flesh and blood?

Peter: Hell, no.

Andrew: Still, how come *I* never got to go along to any of the really cool inner circle stuff?

Peter: I told you when we were growing up, you're just not that cool. Hey, pop wanted it that way!

Andrew: Isn't that a line from the Godfather?

Peter: Yeah, so? Mom and dad liked me best too.

Andrew: No kidding. I wanted a bicycle. You got a bike. All I got were Lincoln logs. With termites.

Peter: Isn't that a line from the Smother's Brothers?

Andrew: Yeah, so bite me!

Peter: Keep that up and I'll let the rest of the apostles know how often you wet the bed when you were little!

Andrew: Yeah, well at least I didn't have a crush on Sarah the butcher's daughter.

Peter: I did NOT have a crush on her.

Andrew: Did too.

Peter: Did not. BTW, you were adopted!

Andrew: Was not.

Peter: Was too. You don't even look like us.

Andrew: Do too.

Peter: Do not. The police brought you to our house one day and told us to keep you, unless you were bad, then we could send you back to the police. The police are your mother and father.

Andrew: Isn't that a line from Bill Cosby?

Peter: Yeah, so bite me!
.

7 comments:

Angela M. said...

LMAO!!!!

More, more, more!!!

Marie said...

ROFLOL!!!!Hahahhahahah!!!!

Ah, dear I needed a good laugh..You are a CARD! LOL

In laughter

Marie lol

gemoftheocean said...

Angela, I was thinking of you when I wrote that. Glad you enjoyed that too, Marie.

ArchAngel's Advocate said...

Sounds like a bar fight with all that biting going on. And the "prophetic" use of comedic lines? Did they have a psychic event like tele-vision?

gemoftheocean said...

AA: totally "otherworldly" they were definitely standing "outside of time." On relistening to the gospel last night I was struck by how it wasn't Moses that freaked them out (was this a regular occurence?) Peter keeping his cool asking about "ya want 3 tents or what?"

It was "the voice" from heaven that threw them over the edge. It drives me nuts that we have NO idea what Jesus needed the consultation for!

la mamma said...

LOL, Gem! Funny thing was, I was thinking the same thing. I'm rather fond of St.Andrew and thought it was a rough deal and perhaps he was busy fishing but that's as far as it went. You're obviously a little further into the whole Ignatian meditation thing than me!

gemoftheocean said...

I've been a fan ever since I had been in the Parish of St. Andrew's in Roanoke, Virginia when I was 8 and a half. We lived in Va. until I was almost 11. Interesting place, but I always noticed in the gospels that though he was Peter's brother and everything, he always seemed to get the short end of the stick. Okay, here James and John are brothers, and it's like they were the dynamic duo along with Peter...and it was like Andrew was the kid brother, too young to tag along.. "Hey, can I go bowling with you guys?" "NAH, you're too LITTLE." "C'mon...when are you going to invite me anywhere?" "When you're thirty I'll think about it." "Can I at least hang out with you guys when you are smoking ciggies down on the corner?" "NO. We'll look uncool if YOU are there too. Besides, you'll tell mom, and I hate when you do that."

Really, I wonder if it's something Andrew bitched and complained about.

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