Biretta rubrics are proof in the pudding that Paul didn't know diddly about head coverings

I can prove it. More than a few traddies like to twit that this women-should-have-their-haeds-covered business has never been abbrogated, that Paul's cultural BS should be taken at face value. [Hi, Joe! ;-D]

I say "Bunkum." I can prove it, by the fact that if you buy his statement that it is shameful for women to have their heads UNcovered, then you have to buy his business about it being shameful for a man to pray with his head covered.

I noticed in the EF form of the High Mass, that when the priest is seated during the Gloria and Creed, there are portions where the biretta, which has been sitting on the priest's head, is removed for certain phrases. Either he's NOT praying the Gloria and the Creed and just kicking back dreaming about what's for lunch, OR he's sitting there thinking:

"LA, LA, LA, sing all you want, I'm not praying, I'm NOT praying, dearie me, NO, not ME...I'm NOT praying because Paul said that men praying with their heads covered are lame, even though he was a Jew himself, and prayed all the time with something on his head, yada-yada-ding-dong, NO, I'm NOT praying---

EXCEPT --- right now for THIS phrase, when I take my biretta off, I'm paying attention and PRAYING because I've "cheated" and paid attention long enough to know during these particular words of the prayers I have to take my biretta off---but HEY, they passed those words, and I'm putting my biretta on again, and NOT praying, so NO, NO, LA-LA-LA....I CAN'T hear you, I'm NOT praying."

Any takers?

St. Paul was SUCH a piece of "Work" about this cultural stuff, that too many women have been suckered in to believing. At the EF church I go to some women even stilll have their veils on when they clean the church. I still think Paul had an older sister who regularly beat the crap out of him. But that's just my speculation. The priests didn't buy it pre-Vatican II, either!!! [Funny how the sanctuary's is a "holy place for men only" except when someone has to clean it. Then the ladies are more than welcome! ]

I was also amused the other week when the Delightful Father Freddy was going over the old testament bits about sacrifice as a precursor to the sacrifice of the Mass --- i.e. what types of sacrifice there were, etc. I had to silently laugh when he mentioned that ONLY the high priest went into the Holy of Holies once a year, and only he was allowed in the place. Well, that's what the Torah says, BUT I have a hard time believing it, for practical reasons:

Aaron: HEY, SARAH, front and center, woman!!!
Sarah: Qu-est-ce que tu as?
Aaron: YOU know what! Don't give me that.
Sarah: Give you WHAT, liebschen?
Aaron: You KNEW today was the day of Atonement. You KNEW no one had been in there ALL year -- what do I FIND when I go to offer Sacrifice the most important day of the year? WHAT do I find?
Sarah: [turns and laughs to self] NO idea, dear, what DID you find?
Aaron: You know DARN good and well there were enough spiders in there to give Michael Jackson the creeps! One of the spiders was bigger than a Volkswagon.
Sarah: Michael WHO? A WHAT?
Aaron: And FURTHERMORE there was enough dirt in there to build breastwork fortifications from here to the Arctic!
Sarah: WHERE?
Aaron: So WHAT did I do to DESERVE THAT? YOU KNOW YOU AND YOUR CREW OF GALS WERE SUPPOSED TO CLEAN THE PLACE.
Sarah: Got news for you, sweetheart: We're on STRIKE. Besides, I'm afraid of spiders and I finally had enough. Clean it yourself, Mr. Bigshot --only the HIGH PRIEST is supposed to be in there -- says so right in the Torah.

Yes, I've been saving this up.

Adam and Eve Unredacted

Time: 4 gazillion B.C.
Place: Garden of Eden
Dramatis Personae: Adam, the first dude; and Eve, the first woman - she has one more rib than he does; God - AKA "The Man Upstairs"

Act 1: Scene one [4:30 in the afternoon]

Adam: What's for dinner?
Eve: Liver and onions.
Adam: We just HAD liver and onions 2 days ago!
Eve: It was on sale.
Adam: You KNOW onions give me gas.
Eve: Oh. Phew. Light a match, baby. How about Left over Venison and Chitlins?
Adam: DAMMIT, WOMAN, I am SICK and TIRED of the SAME THING night after NIGHT !
Eve: YOU try coming up with something new every day of the year!
Adam: Look, for ONCE in your life, can you just SUPRISE me?

Act 1: Scene two [same day 6:30 in the evening]

Adam: Where've YOU been?
Eve: Look I went out and brought you back something you've NEVER eaten before, so kwitcherBitchin'!
Adam: But, but THAT's the "forbidden fruit!!!" I KNOW you were there when The Man Upstairs said NOT to eat that.
Eve: Well, you're so damn smart, you know everything, what difference could it possibly make?
Adam: Point taken. [Takes a bite and offers it to Eve, fade to black]

Act 2: Scene 1
[2 nanoseconds later - sound thunder, lightening]

GOD: HEY!!!!!
Adam: [to EVE] GET DRESSED!!!! QUICK!!!
Eve: What's "dressed?"
Adam: [all out of breath] It's where people aren't buck nekkid and they have something covering themselves....
Eve: IT REACHED 110F in the SHADE IN BASRA the OTHER DAY! Why would somebody do something so stupid?!?!
GOD: I'M WAITING!!!!
[Eve grabs a fig leaf]
Adam and Eve: [trying to look nonchalant] So what brings You here?
GOD: YOU KNOW.
Adam: [feigning ignorance] I dunno what you mean.
GOD: BULL. YOU DO KNOW.
Adam: All right, so we're busted!
GOD: Why'd you get dressed like that in a hurry, don't you know it was 110F in Basra the other day? Geez, and Eve thought you "knew everything." Dummy. For your penalty, you both have to remained dressed. Eve, you vixen temptress, you, not only do you have to remained dressed get into this burqua.
Eve: ARE YOU KIDDING IT WAS 110F IN BASRA!!!
GOD: That's YOUR problem. BTW, have fun with the hot flashes, I'm outta here. Keep away from my tree of knowledge!!!
Eve: Hot flashes? What are Hot flashes?
GOD: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!! [poof, He's gone]*

Act 2, Scene 2

Adam: Hey, good lookin', so what's cookin' now that the Man be gone?
Eve: Liver and onions...don't START with me....

* - proof positive that God is male - no woman, no matter how vindictive, would have dreamed up "hot flashes" and inflicted it on another woman.

Why it's Called a "Hail Mary Pass"

(snaps to Paul for inspiration, for the comment he made on my "Why no male virgins" blog post.)

re: God answering a prayer concerning football and a quarterback throwing up a desparate long bomb:

Left to His own devices, God was just going to say "Oh, HELL, no, let the chips fall where they may. You're not sucking me into this thing."

So that's why it's a "Hail Mary Pass" rather than an "Our Father Pass."

One can imagine the following conversation:

Mary: "Hey, the Steeler's quarterback would like a completion, DO something, Sonny!"

God: "no way"

MARY: "YES, WAY - It's CRITICAL."

God: "oh, all right, Mom, just as a thank you for not letting "dad" whale the tar out of me over that 'missing in Jerusalem' business."

Mary: Darn skippy, you owe me on that one BIG TIME, Mister. Besides, I got money on the Steelers this week.

God: You're GAMBLING again?

Mary: Pin money. Doesn't count. If you didn't like gambling, you should let Father O'Shaunessey run the bingo!

God: Got me there.

Mary: Holy YOU! I can't BELIEVE that guy called a Statue of Liberty play! Didja see that!

God: Yeah, that's why I made sure he got sacked!


You see it's a case of "God bending His will to a woman." [There was a point during Lent where somewhere it said something about "God not bending his will to man." In the EF form "vir" was used so that left an opening for the ladies! ;-D ]

What was it like when Mary saw her Resurrected Son?

There's a meeting that went unrecorded. Oh, to be the fly on the wall.

Mary: SON!!! IT'S TRUE!!! I thought Peter was jacking me around!
Jesus: PEte was always a kidder.
Jesus: So has Johnny been treating you well? Any complaints?
Mary: Great!!! He even picks up after himself, not like SOME people I know.
Jesus: Ah, mom, are you still on the "Your room is the WORST pigsty I've ever seen" thing?
Mary: Well, you had me worried for a while there - especially that day you wanted to paint your room black.
Jesus: Just a phase.
Mary: Yeah, until "dad" told you he'd smack the snot out of you. How's he doing?
Jesus: Resting in the arms of THE Father. He said for me to give you this kiss.
Mary: Send him one back for me!
Jesus: Wilco. Your nephew, John, said "hey" too.

I'm still trying to figure out his peripatetic ramblings. What the heck was he doing? Seeing Paris or something before he ascended? Emmaus one day, [and AFAIK that's the only time the place is mentioned] then he's up by the shore waiting for someone to bring him a fish. Whatever. Jesus as rockstar. He hangs with the guys, then just crashes somewhere else.

6 AD

The Time: 6 A.D.
The Place: The Sea of Galilee
Dramatis Personae: Jesus, John, the future Baptist, Mary, and Joseph in a cameo appearance

Jesus: MARCO

John: Polo

Jesus: Mar-co

John: POLO, sheesh, are you DEAF?

Mary: Will you kids get out of the water? John, you're turning blue!

Jesus: Mahhhh-ahhhhhm!!! Do I have to, too? I don't even get waterlogged.

Mary: Yes, you're spooky. Dad wants to get the caravan packed, we're WAITING for you, young man.

Jesus: Yes, mother.

John: [sotto voce] You are *such* a goody-two-sandals.

Jesus: HEY, stop snapping your towel at my butt.

John: MAKE me.

Jesus: I *can* take you, if I felt like it.

John: You and what army?

Joseph: MOVE IT!!! You KNOW how backed up traffic got last year!

Uh, Fr. Pio, uh, yeah ... sure... who knew you had xray vision?

I read his herman-
euticalness's funny posting regards Saggy Trousers/Baggy Pants, and MaggieClitheroe mentioned in the combox that St. Padre Pio (1887 - 1968) apparently had it in for women going to him to confession with skirts/dresses shorter than 8 inches BELOW the knee. I wondered if it was a misquote -- but no, another website dedicated to the good man lent support, it quoted from a book by Dorothy Gaudiosi called Prophet of the People:

“Padre Pio wouldn't tolerate low-necked dresses or short, tight skirts, and he forbade his spiritual daughters to wear transparent stockings. Each year his severity increased. He stubbornly dismissed them from his confession, even before they set foot inside, if he judged them to be improperly dressed. On some mornings he drove away one after another, until he ended up hearing very few confessions. His brothers observed these drastic purges with a certain uneasiness and decided to fasten a sign on the church door”


Well, I guess for sure that would have left Jackie Kennedy out, plus most women (99 percent of them, most likely) not dressed all in black a la Sicilian Widow or Burqua queen style. Apparently women had also been changing dresses in church too...otherwise they wouldn't have forbidden it.
My question ... okay, I've been going to confession since I was 7. Behind a grill. When Padre Pio lived 99% of the time he'd have had confession with a grill too. Did he use X-Ray vision to know the women weren't properly dressed? Did he quiz them? How did this drill work?

Female Penitent: "Bless me father, for I have..."
Padre Pio: "Hold it right there, WHAT are you wearing?"
FP: "CHE COSA?"
Padre Pio: "I said what are you wearing? I want to make sure you're appropriately dressed."
FP: "Isn't that a little weird, you can't see me....I'm outta here."
PP: "NEXT"

Next female Penitent same stuff -- but this time she says:
FP: "A dress."
PP: "You're not some hot to trot vixen in capri pants with bare arms? Are you sure?"
FP: "NO, of course not. [beginning to think he's a bit nuts]
PP: "Does your dress go past your knees?"
FP: "Yes."
PP: "HOW FAR?"
FP: "*sigh* well, if you MUST know, I DON'T know."
PP: "Here, take this ruler. You measure and tell me."
FP: "Two inches below the bottom of my knees, I'm a respectable matron."
PP: "The HELL you are, OUT, OUT, OUT, I tell you....." [Now why Padre Pio, an Eye-Talian, would be measuring in inches, when he'd more likely be measuring in froggy style metric, I dunno.]

And what prompted the scandalous indignant outrage regards a skirt 8 inches below the knee as opposed to a skirt 7 inches below the knee? Did he have a dream one night where in he was chased round his cell by some hoyden with skirts that length? Did his momma wear her skirts exactly 8 inches below and because it was his momma he figured that was "pure as the driven snow" but anything above that was scandal, pure scandal I tell ya.

Well, I took costume history....it's a good thing Mary didn't sin, because as far as I know, she didn't wear a bra because those things weren't invented until the 20th century.

And God help him had a man wearing a kilt entered the box.

PP: Get out of here you brazen plaid covered strumpet!!!
Male Penitent: Uh-HUM...I'm like, you know, a dude, Father....
PP: [eyes start to bleed too] WHAT ARE YOU DOING WEARING WOMEN'S CLOTHING?
MP: "I'm not wearing women's clothing. I'm a Scotsman. It's a kilt."
PP: "Oh. Well, tell me you're not going commando. Are you going commando?"
MP: Sure am, and I have a purse and a dagger too.
PP: OUT, geeeeeddddouttahere.....before I sic my donkey on you.

The whole thing gives me pause to wonder if perhaps another monk with different standards would have posted the following:


I always had reservations about the Franciscans...this just sort of adds to it. And you may have guessed I was never crazy about St. Paul. But then that tent maker probably wouldn't have liked me much either, so we're even.

Yes, yes, Fr. Groeschel not withstanding.... Modesty is one thing, but one has to wonder if perhaps Padre Pio's elevator wasn't getting to the top floor or if the jacks and sixes weren't missing out of the deck. My sixth and seventh grade nuns were MERCILESS with a ruler if they thought anyone was overdoing it. But in the mid 60s, when Padre Pio had this thing posted, even THEY gave us two inches ABOVE the mid knee. They did eventually want us to get asked out the senior prom so most of us would eventually raise good Catholic families and all that jazz, and even THEY knew that most boys are not exactly going to ask the girl with the burqua to homecoming. I'd have loved to have seen the exchange between our nuns and Padre Pio.

PP: Okay, I can barely see your face and hands but WHY do you let your girls go about like trollops?!

No wonder his confession line was short.

PLAY BALL!

That salt-of-
the-
earth-
priest, Fr. Blake, in Brighton, UK at St. Mary Magdalen has taken some exception to the baseball caps worn by a coterie of priests at some Mass or other. Despite the tongue in cheek ribbing I've been giving him, I would agree that in general this sort of thing shouldn't be done.

HOWEVER, though I'd look daggers at any priest who did this at an indoor Mass, I have to cut a slight bit of slack to priests who throw in the towel and resort to a hat, even a baseball hat, in lieu of keeling over in the heat.

A while back Fr. Martin Fox had written about attending one of the outdoor Masses with the pope, and he related how long they were on the field ... quite a few hours before the Mass ... and then the Mass itself.

I can just imagine how the conversation went:

Fr. Cornelius: Dudes, I have HAD IT, sweat is now rolling off my head down into my jockey shorts. I don't care, I *AM* going to buy a ball cap from the vendor and wear it.

Fr. Clark: DON'T. You'll get us in trouble.

Fr. Cornelius: Shut your piehole, Clark ... you were always a goody two shoes, even in seminary.

Fr. Clark: That is NOT true, you know....

Frs. Manny, Moe, and Jack: Clark, shut up -- he IS right....we're getting caps too, you can join us or be a putz....the bishops can't reassign us *all* out to St. Nowheresville.

Fr. Jack: Hey, Chip and Dale ... you guys look a little, oh, light in the loafers in those golf caps. They make everyone look light in the loafers ... unless you are actually *playing* golf.

Frs. Chip and Dale: Where do you think we just came from?

Fr. Jack: Well, at least get the same caps we have.

Frs. Chip and Dale: Can't - we just spent our last bucks on beer.

Frs. Manny, Moe, Jack, and Cornelius: You guys are drinking that swill? G'wan. Get some. We'll send the bill to the bishop and we'll sign it with Clark's name.

Fr. Clark: HEY! Cut that out. I'm telling s'str!

Fr. Cornelius: I'm shaking. Yeah, it will probably go on our permanent records too.

I can just imagine this conversation

I love this sign outside my bank.


Me: Maggie, these nice people at Washington Mutual would like you to remain outside.

Maggie: What? You're going to leave me in a hot car? Leave the cell phone, I'm calling the ASPCA.

Me: Well, would you mind putting on a harness and making like Rin-Tin-Tin?

Maggie: You don't even pay me scale now.

Me: Are you going to be REALLY good this time? You're not going to drool all over the Assistant Manager are you?

Maggie: I do NOT drool over him, that guy is gorgeous. He gave me a squeaky toy last time.

Me: That was because you ate all the lollipops the time before last.

Maggie: Can I bite some people?

Me: NO!!!!! You almost got us thrown out last time....although I have to admit that man counting out $120 in pennies was asking for it.

Teller: What is this dog doing in here?

Me: I asked her to stay outside and she didn't want to. You must be new here.

How American Teenagers Show the love

... for their friends.

Yes, ladies and gentle-
men, a very popular teenager lives in this house. Do I know these people from Adam? No, but they live a few blocks away, and by the "festooned" yard, I can tell that yes, indeed, a very popular kid lives here. You see, in the USA, if your friends REALLY like you, and you're not around, and they have "nothing better to do" they TP ("toilet paper") your house. Parents don't get too mad, because by this sign of affection, they know their kid is popular in school.

I do not know how foreign exchange students take this, if they are so "honored" -- I expect it might be hard to explain the phenomenon to someone who lives in Outer Mongolia "honey, your classmates must really like you -- you have ARRIVED."

Maybe back when Jesus was a "yuth" friends would "decorate" with lamb entrails or the like, them not having toilet paper.

I could just see the Holy Family:

Joseph: That's the FIFTH time this month!!!!! Why are you so POPULAR?

Jesus: Heck if I know, of course I did change a few gallons of water into beer for the beer bust last week.

Joseph: BEER? Since when do you drink beer? Wine's not GOOD enough for your lot? Why can't you make something useful that your mother and I could drink, like wine? You know your mother doesn't like beer.

Jesus: That's a thought, I'll work on it.

Mary: Son, can you try some Chianti? You know I love that stuff.

Jesus: Wilco, mom, you know I'd do anything for you, being the perfect Son and following the law perfectly, and given I follow the 4th commandment, of course I'll make you wine whenever you want.

Mary: DO that...our family has a lot of weddings coming up, what with the cousins and all.

Jesus: Mom, anytime, and if I forget, you remind me, okay?

Mary: You betcha. I'll hold you to it!
.

The Moses get Together

Of all the happenings in the New Testament, today's gospel one of my favorite stories because it is so puzzling. Why in the heck would Jesus be taking time out of his busy day to have a chat with Moses and Elijah? I also pity St. Andrew a little. Suppose you had an older brother, you saw your boss-to-be first and told your brother about Him....who does the Boss like best? Big brother.

Consider the scene after the resurrection and the apostles are kicking around old memories about Jesus.

James: Hey, and then there was the time Moses and Elijah appeared. Man, Peter, you should have seen the look on your face, I thought you were going to run in six different directions at once!

Peter: Yeah, well you weren't looking in the pink of health either, and you tried to hide behind John and me.

James: How could I hide "behind you" guys... you were dumbstruck, lying prostrate, thinking you'd seen a ghost.

Peter: WE DID! Two, in fact.... we left you enough room in the ditch to pile right on top of us, what are you bitching about?

Andrew: How come *I* never heard about that?

Peter: He told us not to tell anyone "the vision we'd seen" until later.

Andrew: So what did Moses and Elijah and Jesus talk about?

Peter: How the heck do we know? It was in ancient Hebrew from centuries ago, do I LOOK like I would understand that stuff? Well, actually, I think I DO know, but I'm not telling because then centuries from now people will be wondering and it's always nice to have a secret that no one knows about except me, James and John.

Andrew: You're not even going to tell your own flesh and blood?

Peter: Hell, no.

Andrew: Still, how come *I* never got to go along to any of the really cool inner circle stuff?

Peter: I told you when we were growing up, you're just not that cool. Hey, pop wanted it that way!

Andrew: Isn't that a line from the Godfather?

Peter: Yeah, so? Mom and dad liked me best too.

Andrew: No kidding. I wanted a bicycle. You got a bike. All I got were Lincoln logs. With termites.

Peter: Isn't that a line from the Smother's Brothers?

Andrew: Yeah, so bite me!

Peter: Keep that up and I'll let the rest of the apostles know how often you wet the bed when you were little!

Andrew: Yeah, well at least I didn't have a crush on Sarah the butcher's daughter.

Peter: I did NOT have a crush on her.

Andrew: Did too.

Peter: Did not. BTW, you were adopted!

Andrew: Was not.

Peter: Was too. You don't even look like us.

Andrew: Do too.

Peter: Do not. The police brought you to our house one day and told us to keep you, unless you were bad, then we could send you back to the police. The police are your mother and father.

Andrew: Isn't that a line from Bill Cosby?

Peter: Yeah, so bite me!
.

Kid, Ya Gotta Get A Gimmick

If ya want ta get ahead!

Fr. Ray Blake intro-
duced DANCING GIRLS this last Sunday.

Well, I don't think it's such a bad idea. At least ONCE. He said:

"No way are these young women going to dance at Mass..."

I think in his case, given he's bucking for Cardinal Archbishop, it's a great idea. At the very least, he'd give the parish something to talk about for years to come! Think of the unity this could cause amongst his eastern european and English parishioners:

Mrs. Evans Trimmington-Winslow, III: "And then there was the time Father Ray lost his mind and had dancing girls with flaming batons flank the cross bearer in the procession...."

Mrs. Stakakowitz:
"Da, OHN BIL DURAK" [Yes, he was a fool.]

Think how that will live on in parish memory and get embellished to an entire troupe of the Bolshoi ballet accompanied by the Elephants from a touring production of Aida.

Doing something that crazy could rocket him to the top for consideration for Cardinal.

Kid, you gotta get a gimmick ♫! Ms. Tessie Tura SAID so!
.

Stuff you'd just KILL to have

Definition of insufferable

(I bet He was pretty good!)

Time: 45 AD
Place: Galilee


Miriam: Hey, is that a new bureau?

Ruth: It SURE is, we love it.

Esther: Well, I suppose for around here it's nice, but WE have a Jesus original over at our house. So clever, even at 15. And he gave our son, Mordecai, his entire tool set as a wedding present at Cana.

Miriam: Oh, that Sheraton bureau? Isn't that the one where the drawers stick a bit?

Esther: No dear, you must have us confused with the Finklesteins.

Ruth: Bowl of milk for you two?

St. John, the Evangelist

Oops! Meant to get this in a bit earlier Technically, it's still the 27th in Hawaii, so pretend I'm posting this one from Hawaii. There's something to love about all the Evangelists -- but John 6 goes to the core of the faith: "Unless you eat my flesh and drink my blood you have no life within you." Wow. In my book that's the #1 reason for being Catholic. Not only is John in many ways the most theologically developed of all the Evangelists, he's got his own special way of arranging his gospel. I've always enjoyed Scott Hahn's take on John's "4th cup- The Sacrament of the Eucharist."

Some of my other favorites from John include the prologue and the Wedding Feast of Cana. It's His first miracle. I've often wondered about the hidden family life of Jesus, Mary and Joseph before His public ministry. What marvelous and wonderful things Mary knew about the Son that made her know that Jesus could solve the problem of there being no more wine? I like the little details John gives - at the end of the gospel, for instance, when the apostles are fishing, and Jesus tells them to cast their nets on the other side of the boat.

John: Hey, James, remember that time when Jesus told us to cast our nets off the other side that day?

James: Yeah

John: Was it 163, or 153 fish we caught that day?
James: 153 -- and two tires

John: I'll edit out the tires, thanks!

A few years back when Teresa was still serving Mass and in high school, Father read that bit of the gospel and we happened to glance at each other just as he said that. We BOTH had to look away. Afterwards I said: I bet you were thinking the same thing I was. Her: YUP -- one hundred and fifty THREE Me: Right, not "oh, around 150...but one hundred fifty THREE." I don't normally read minds, but that time I did. [The only other time I read "someone's" mind, was when my spaniel and I read each other's minds...it only happened once!]

Had us in hysterics. Her mom thought we were nuts.
.

Those Crazy Canucks!!!

And I say it with all fond-
ness! God, I really needed a laugh today, and Angela Messenger provided one for me. Don't fail to miss her Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart.

We Canadians and Americans (yes, we're going to irritate you Canucks by claiming possession of the word "Americans") sometimes have our sibling squabbles --

US: "Will you guys quit sending those arctic blasts our way?"
Canada: "Stop stealing our best hockey players, you couldn't get a home grown one to save your souls."

US: "Well, at least stop sending all those guys in sheets from coming over your borders."
Canada: "We will if you stop sending the illegal Alien Mexicans - the Yukon can only support so many paper flower and orange vendors."

US: "How come you get so upset when Europeans can't tell your accents from ours?*"
Canada: "Because even we run out of red thread sewing our flag on our backpacks, we just want to hitch a ride in Switzerland, and not get dumped on because you people have a scorched earth policy, cut us a break, eh?"

But on this eve of Thanksgiving, I am remembering and being grateful to our
Friendly Neighbors to the North.

Canada, I am one American who does not forget that when the US embassy in Iran was over run in late 1979 in all the confusion you hid a large number of US diplomats and citizens in your embassy compound. We had a hostage crisis for 444 days, but your actions at that time were truly noble. You risked your own necks in giving those you were able to hide false Canadian identity papers, and managed to keep them from the Iranians.

You weren't a bit more clairvoyant than we were as to what was going to happen to our diplomatic personnel, and you went out of your way to help us, endangering yourselves.

All friendly back and forth all-in-good-fun-
snipping aside, I thank you for helping us then. I thank you for standing against terrorism with us now.

AND THANK YOU for opening up your homes and putting up thousands of our citizens along with citizens from many nations on September 11 and the days immediately following.

LONG MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP REMAIN!

*(The reason it DID work was because if even we ourselves can't tell each other apart unless we're really "listening" and our British friends have a hard enough time discerning our accents - the Iranians didn't stand a chance. Neener-neener, we were right you DO sound like us! Or do we sound like you ;-D )
.