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Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Rules for Dating my daughter.

this one is for you, Jackie, and anyone else who needs a copy to hand out to the young swains sniffing at their door. (I don't have any daughters, but believe me, if I did these would be my rules too. Come to think of it, they also pretty much embody the attitude my dad had towards any male coming near me in my teenage years. Someday I might mention "the porch light incident." I'm still have traumatic flash backs over it. Kinda funny now. ;-D )

The Rules


WhiteStoneNameSeeker said...

LOL. My sons found these rules a few weeks ago and thought they were great rules for dating their sisters.
They also suggested a shotgun and shovel in the porch as due warning!

WhiteStoneNameSeeker said...

BTW you asked about chav and the other dodgy cultures among teens in the UK.
My daughter has a few friends-one of whom lives in difficult circumstances. She now dresses like a chav and in some circumstances will behave like one in order to fit in among those of her neighbourhood. It means she will not be beaten up.
She only dresses like that when she comes here if she is not being taken home by my husband.

My sons have friends who are 'rockers'. They are good lads-but I think they look awful!

I see a great deal of what I call casual cruelty from teens coming out of school.
I began to home educate because one of my children was bullied, but there was also a general nastiness in the schools my kids attended.

Some of the kids who look bad are the most generous and well behaved people I know.
Eg. My son's friend had his 18th birthday party and there were a lot of rockers there. Scary looking bunch!
Apparently the party went on late and finally they were asked to leave around 2:30am. On the way out a few offered to come back and clear up.
My friend (the lad's mum) didn't think much of the offer-but the following morning, quite early the lads arrived on her doorstep and set about cleaning up and washing up!
I think things are bad here in the UK over all-but there are little rays of sunshine.

My own teens sometimes wonder how they will manage in a world where they are not part of the groups; chav, rocker, goth, emo etc.
As my son goes off to college to do engineering in Sept I hope things will be okay.

gemoftheocean said...

Thanks! I especially like the one re: "barrier method" - I am the barrier and I will kill you! The basic instinct of your sons to protect their sisters is endearing. They'd probably be harder on your daughter's dates than your hubby.

re: the chav thing. I think it's kind of funny that a zip up hooded jacket is seen as a threat. Around here a grandmother could wear one and not get a second look. In socal they just happen to be a "perfect weight" jacket. They are always worn "hood down" unless you really are caught in a blizzard. Outer wear (other than a formal suit jacket or sport coat) is seldom seen in these part (or south of certain latitudes - so those jackets are "perfect" for night trips to a stadium where it might get a little chilly at night. Now, yes, if you see a kid wear one in broad daylight, when it's not especially cold out with the hood up, this kid is affecting "gangsta" but given the universality of the jacket, they don't especially connote much of anything beyond "casual wear." Those "hoodies" have been around as long as monks have been around. I suppose it's pretty normal to bitch about what the younger set is wearing. Doubtless is Caesar's day parent's were complaining about the way the kids togas were draped.

and yes, sometimes the "worst looking" kids are the nicest. I call the whole "goth thing" the "Sylvia Plath years." South Park is not a show I'd want kids to watch...but I have to say they had an episode with the kids affecting the goth cultural dress, and then deciding it was for losers! They definitely go too far at times, but sometimes they hit it on the head with slams against the popular culture by pointing out by being absurd how truly stupid a lot of it is. They are particularly good at mocking "political correctness."

Joanna Bogle said...

I'm sending this Comment to your Blog because it's the only way of getting in sent a kind comment to my blog, re my Cycle Ride, and I wanted to give you the info in answer to your question: I think my trip was about 60 miles. I averaged 20 miles a day. It's a bit difficult to calculate, because I went off my route at various points, eg to visit St Michael's Church, and to get to West Grinstead etc. And I was trying, not always successfully, to avoid the main roads.

I'm glad to have discovered your Blog. I've just read "The Rules" and laughed aloud. Many thanks

best wishes

Joanna B.

Anonymous said...

Haven't yet read the rules yet! but not wishing to blow my own trumpet..but the girls are doing just fine! the eldest has a perfect gentleman for a boyfriend just like her father...

WhiteStoneNameSeeker said...

I thought I would tell you this story.
My two oldest boys were in their early teens.
I was going out to meet their sister from school. I walked up the road and saw a whole band of scary looking 'yoofs' headed my way-all in goth and rocker black.
"Must cross the road to avoid them!" I thought and immediately stopped to cross. As I looked back I realised that 2 of those scary yoofs belonged to me and they were all headed to MY HOUSE!

They are a lovely bunch and two (plus my own two) were/are altar servers.

gemoftheocean said...

White stone: Great story re: your goth look kids. I have a standing joke when any of our altar servers turns 13. I say "congratulations. You are no longer a little kid. Now you are a big kid. Please, one thing only: DO NOT PAINT YOUR ROOM BLACK."

One of our servers is going off to college this fall. I told her "feel may now free to paint your dorm room black."

I've learned over the years from going off to college myself and giving advice to younger cousins:

1. Wear your shower shoes.
2. [if female = "yes, it's true, by the end of the year you will all be on the same menstrual cycle.]
3. if you are in a Math class with a lot of Asian students: transfer, they will mess up the curve so bad a 95 will be a "C". It doesn't matter in liberal arts classes.
4. Always carry "mad money"
5. [if boy] don't throw a red t-shirt in with a bunch of white ones, unless you don't mind your friends saying "hello, thailor" - you are allowed to have ONE pink dress shirt, but more than one will attract comment.

swissmiss said...

I have oodles of military men in my family, so this gave me weird flash backs to my youth like I was standing in the living room and watching my father bark these rules to my date. Especially #1. My father would NOT, absolutely not, let anyone, friend or date, honk the horn and expect me to run out. No boys were allowed in my room, not even my fiance at the time, who has been my sweet husband for almost 20 years. Funny thing is, my father never had to say these things out loud. Just the way he carried himself spoke volumes and put the fear of God into any prospective suitors!

gemoftheocean said...

Did any of you read Cheaper by the Dozen...where "dad" of the family insisted that either he, or a younger brother(s) accompany their older sisters on dates. Classic book.

If I recall correctly the older girls complained about their dad's vigilance saying that concern to that degree denoted a "misspent youth" on his part!

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