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Sunday, January 13, 2008

Operation Voodoo

As any of my U.S. Readers who have not been living under a rock know, Campaign '08 is at a stage in January where we start to take things seriously. For those of you overseas who most likely do not follow US politics closely, and my U.S. readers who live-under-a-rock -- be aware that this season will be sickeningly unlike any other. Many of us political observers are horrified that last year a number of states got involved in playing "Alpha Dog" in moving their primary elections up FAR TOO MUCH in advance of the nominating convention. It has been ages since there was a brokered convention, but NEVER has the potential existed for such calamity. For a run down of how all this stuff works, see here.

U.S. elections had nicely evolved over the years to spread out state primaries, thereby giving the electorate at large ample time to observe how candidates handle themselves. Some candidates look good on paper, but then may do absolutelyl stupid stuff which reveals them to have flaws. Flaws which might have gone undetected in a short frame of time, but flaws that over time would be exposed. The last few election cycles have had the larger states mad, because by the time they got around to those primaries, the candidates had their bids locked up, and the large states got NO attention. It's like penning the Rottweiler and giving him the picked clean bone to suck on. Thus the alpha dog hissy fit in '07. Early this February, a considerable number of states have moved their primaries up to Feb. 5 -- almost HALF the states will hold primaries or caucuses on this single day.

The Republican field is a mess all right, but the Democrat field holds the frightening spectre of that she-wolf, the Hildabeast locking up an early Democrat nomination, before her own party remembers how much they despise her. I know people who were born with a donkey tattooed on their rear ends who despise her. But there's always the idiot vote, who can't remember what happened two weeks ago, much less the 8 year nightmare of the Clinton regime.

What to do? The church is always urging Ecumenism. As I was browsing the drug store aisle this afternoon, my eyes fell on a number of Hildabeast dolls. AH-HA!!!!! THERE'S THE ANSWER. An Instant Hildabeast Voodoo Doll!!! These things were discounted 75% -- YES!!!! Lay out 20 bucks? NO WAY.... but 5 smackeroos? IRRESISTIBLE!!!! Hours of blog fun. Plus the fact that it will save me from throwing bricks through the television set. It's hard plastic, it supposedly says stuff (I haven't put batteries in yet) but everytime She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named wins some primary delegates I will DO things to it. When the time comes as a coup de grace, I can't wait to tie it behind the car and drag it. It and Jimmy Hoffa may eventually have something in common.

Update: Last night I was trying to think up appropriate music for "Operation Voodoo" and "The well ran dry" but I figured I could later add some to the campaign. Hats off to Archangel's Advocate who reminded me of Cole Porter's line: "Do do that voodoo that you do so well..." from You Do Something To Me, from the Musical 50 Million Frenchmen. This time around Amazon has the 30 second clip ♫ ... and once again, DEAD ON for the needed line.


The Digital Hairshirt said...

On the other hand, it could mean that the Democrats get what they deserve - a candidate who cannot win. And I do not see Hillary being able to win a presidential election.

However, Karen, my bet is on the DNC hosting a veritable Obamarama come the convention - I think he will be getting the nod because as much as the Dems like the Money Machine, even that is proving unsustainable as so many FOB's (Friends of Bill, for you abroad) jump ship with their wallets clutched in their hands.

I don't think my dreams will see reality, but I am still lighting candles and offering prayers to see next January the inauguration of President Thompson.

gemoftheocean said...

I'm lighting my candles for Duncan Hunter! He's actually a candidate that works at being a conservative AND HAS THE RECORD TO PROVE IT! (Thompson would be my number two choice. Hunter has way more experience, PLUS he is genuine about the border fence and those issues and has been for years AND as chairman of the house armed services committee knows more about the military than any other candidate in either party. He'd been a War vet and his son served several tours in the present conflict.)

But whatever happens that witch with a capital B must not obtain power. The fear I have is that these elections are SO front loaded that witch may sew up the nomination before it goes to the convention. when was the last time a convention went on where it wasn't a rubber stamp and form for form's sake? It's been a long time where the outcome was in doubt. The last one I remember where it wasn't "inevitable" was the 1972 democrat one, or possibly the 76 DNC one. It is frightening how front loaded the system is, I do predict both parties will come to their senses ... some of them had by penalizing delegates from states who held their convention before Feb. 5 UNLESS they had traditionally done so. It is FAR too early, for instance, for Cal to be voting Feb. 5. Damn Arnold et al.

The Hildabeast has a LOT of negatives with people in her own party hating her. NONE THE LESS, there are still too many people who don't question the crap the alphabet networks feed them -- and the debate questions are INSANE. I've read a number of transcripts and it's ludicrous. Questions designed by 5 year olds for the 10 year old mind.

Never underestimate the power of the media to manufacture dirt about a candidate where there is one. The whole "Bush was a draft dodger" crap was tried, and it took the concerted effort of a number of people to point out that the documents were phonies. Dan Rather still is walking around dazed trying to understand why his career went in the toilet.

There's a reason you don't have to show ID to vote in California. The dummycrats who run the state know if they throw enough "walking around money" at people on election day, they have enough voter fraud to tip the scales sometimes.

And how does Philadelphia end up with some precincts voting MORE than 100% of registered voters? MAssive fraud there. And let's not even go there regards Chicago and that corrupt machine.
If it was up to me, NO ONE who couldn't pass what used to be a standard high school civics test would be allowed to vote, PERIOD. In the words of the great William F. Buckley, Jr. "Voting would be by invitation only."

ArchAngel's Advocate said...

Who do that voodoo which you do so well! LOL

gemoftheocean said...

AA: THE WINNAH ... I was trying to come up with a little music for that thread and subsequent, when "the well ran dry" as far as the thought would take me. One of my favorite CDs is the 50 Million Frenchmen, lyrics Cole Porter - one of the best ever.

The song "You do something to me" just for that line alone. Hats off to you sir! I'll update the post.

swissmiss said...

Ya'll can come here this summer for the Republican Convention. Should be interesting. Already hearing about a number of groups who plan to protest outside. I guess it's only democracy when we vote the way they want us to vote or they have to whine and protest about it.

"I was mighty blue,
thought my life was through,
till the heavens opened,
and I gazed at you."
Certainly this is NOT about the Beast. The voodoo part, yup, but the heaven part, please tell me it's a more exclusive club than this.

gemoftheocean said...

Swiss: I soitanly hope so. But you have to admit there aren't many classic songs that use the word "voodoo."

there's one in ONE YOUR TOES that refers to "a hoodoo" - If memory serves it's in "The heart is quicker than the eye" in the introductory verse.


gemoftheocean said...

Oh, for a secondary song: "Burn, Baby, Burn, Disco Inferno" [burn that mother down] from Saturday Night Fever also seems appropriate.


Stephen said...

Burn, baby, burn - that brings back memories...!

The thing that staggers me about US Presidential elections is how long the campaigning goes on for (bad sentence, I know). In the UK, election campaigns basically last for five weeks, which is quite enough as far as I'm concerned, and we don't have paid political advertising in broadcast media (and there are stringent limits on it in print media as well).

gemoftheocean said...

Stephen, part of the reason they are so long is because it's a pretty big country geographically, and as you know we don't really have national newspapers that "everyone reads." The NY Times "thinks they are" but they're not. So a lot of the candidates only have regional appeal. also the US voter has a notoriously low attention span. If something isn't in their faces, they are like "Mitt Who? Obama who?" Stringing it out gives the lesser known candidates a shot at national attention, AND gives the voters time to see how say two given individuals go head to head. For instance Hitlery's skulldudgery re: Obama and cocaine use. I think Obama's wet behind the ears and would never vote for him, but let's say you forced me to vote for Hitlery or Obama? No contest. Hitlery is downright evil. The Clinnochios know far too many who have died under "mysterious circumstances." Too many dead "friends" and former associates.


ArchAngel's Advocate said...

I suspect that Obama will win the Dem contest and will pick H*ll as his VP for the same reason Bush Sr. picked Quayle (what better protection againsh assination than to have a VP who's disliked more than you are?).

gemoftheocean said...

AA: Yeahway, utbay hentay Obamaway ouldway avehay otay orryway aboutway itleryHay illingkay imhay osay hesay ancay aketay overway.

This "sensitive stuff" should be spelled out in Pig Latin, because the SANAY has enough to do as it is!

IF they DO have a Pig Latin filter, someone over at itremay et al have a lot more time on their hands than I thought.


Stephen said...

Well, also your election campaigns are longer because you have this system by which the public vote via Primaries for the candidate for each party, whereas under our system the sitting MP who happens to have been elected leader of the winning party by his party's constituents becomes PM.

As an outsider, I find it very interesting to watch.

X said...

Here in Canada we are also subjected to every single freakin' excruciating detail of your elections and campaigns that seem to last years. I am sure nobobdy in the US cares who our Prime Minister is and you don't have to watch your local news go on an on about what is happening politically next door.

Anyway, I almost wish I was American just so I could drag my own Hillary voodoo doll behind my car ROFLMAO!!!

Stephen said...

I don't believe you have to be America to want to own a Hillary voodoo doll. You don't necessarily even have to be right-wing.

gemoftheocean said...

Angela, send me five bucks and postage, and you can have one....if they have any left I'll run down and get you one. I may even have to spring for an extra one myself, just so I have enough parts left to bury after I incinerate her in the microwave. and I agree it's an especially cruel form of torture where you *have* to watch all our election BS whether you want to or not. Your own fault for most of you living within a 100 miles of our borders. [Except you and the people in Medicine Hat -- just once before I die I want to go there just to say I've been.]

Steven. sorta on the primaries. You can't vote in both primaries. If you're registered in a given party, then you can vote in that parties primary. SOME states have an open primary, where you can vote in one or the other, but not both. Because then it's too easy to screw up the other party. For instance, let's say candidate X in my party is a shoe in. So I decide to vote in the Demo primary to pick their WEAKEST candidate. Frankly, that's the weakness of an open primary system. Vermont, the liberals have been screwing up the Rep. nomination for years doing that for local offices.

This year, you're not going to get a lot of crossover, because each parties candidates are far from shoe ins. The Repubs. don't like the big three, so many people are torn between voting with one with name recognition, because they think he might be more likely to be hitlery, who will probably be the candidate there. Obama, right now, seems the only one to catch her there, because the Breck girl, (Edwwards) is such an ambulance chaser, he's not likely to get the nod.

It is going to jump VERY ugly this year. I can't EVER remember such a go around since literally 1968. And that waws the year of the riots at the chicago convention. The one where Gore Vidal called William F. Buckley a fascist, and the one where WFB, Jr. told Vidal that he was "queer" and he was going to punch his face in. Those were the days.

[And an anchor man, memory escapes which one now, I think Brinkley? I'd have to look it up, got arrested on the floor ofthe convention ... or "under house guard" or some such BS.]

I would love to see an old fashion brokered convention where no candidate had enough to sew up the nomination. THOSE meant something, the ones now mean ZIP all except who the VeeP nominee is. If Obama does get it, I think it would be literal suicide on his part to pick the she wolf.

Swiss: I totally forget the RNC was headed your way. Say "hey" to the ghost of Ronaldus Magnus for me. We could use a miracle right now. Forever will I treasure me seeing him live in person at his last campaign stop in 1980 the night before he won the election the first time. It was ELECTRIC.

Oh, Stevie, you can have a Hitlery doll too. The ***** was even "Made in China."

Oh, and Angela. Don't take it personally if most Americans can't name your PM to save their souls. It's a backhanded compliment. This means that you haven't pissed us off enough to the extent that we would find it important to know. If you DON'T "hear from us" it usually means everythings good in the hood. OR we need your help to "take somebody out" in which case our people with a "need to know" will find out. ;-D [Don't take that personally, besides accent, the quickest way to tell a US citizen from a Canadian is to figure out which one is more paranoid. And it's always "you guys." Because you're afraid you'll get dumped on for US foreign policy when you're just trying to hitch a ride in Switzerland or something.]


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