Sunday, January 13, 2008
As any of my U.S. Readers who have not been living under a rock know, Campaign '08 is at a stage in January where we start to take things seriously. For those of you overseas who most likely do not follow US politics closely, and my U.S. readers who live-under-a-rock -- be aware that this season will be sickeningly unlike any other. Many of us political observers are horrified that last year a number of states got involved in playing "Alpha Dog" in moving their primary elections up FAR TOO MUCH in advance of the nominating convention. It has been ages since there was a brokered convention, but NEVER has the potential existed for such calamity. For a run down of how all this stuff works, see here.
U.S. elections had nicely evolved over the years to spread out state primaries, thereby giving the electorate at large ample time to observe how candidates handle themselves. Some candidates look good on paper, but then may do absolutelyl stupid stuff which reveals them to have flaws. Flaws which might have gone undetected in a short frame of time, but flaws that over time would be exposed. The last few election cycles have had the larger states mad, because by the time they got around to those primaries, the candidates had their bids locked up, and the large states got NO attention. It's like penning the Rottweiler and giving him the picked clean bone to suck on. Thus the alpha dog hissy fit in '07. Early this February, a considerable number of states have moved their primaries up to Feb. 5 -- almost HALF the states will hold primaries or caucuses on this single day.
The Republican field is a mess all right, but the Democrat field holds the frightening spectre of that she-wolf, the Hildabeast locking up an early Democrat nomination, before her own party remembers how much they despise her. I know people who were born with a donkey tattooed on their rear ends who despise her. But there's always the idiot vote, who can't remember what happened two weeks ago, much less the 8 year nightmare of the Clinton regime.
What to do? The church is always urging Ecumenism. As I was browsing the drug store aisle this afternoon, my eyes fell on a number of Hildabeast dolls. AH-HA!!!!! THERE'S THE ANSWER. An Instant Hildabeast Voodoo Doll!!! These things were discounted 75% -- YES!!!! Lay out 20 bucks? NO WAY.... but 5 smackeroos? IRRESISTIBLE!!!! Hours of blog fun. Plus the fact that it will save me from throwing bricks through the television set. It's hard plastic, it supposedly says stuff (I haven't put batteries in yet) but everytime She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named wins some primary delegates I will DO things to it. When the time comes as a coup de grace, I can't wait to tie it behind the car and drag it. It and Jimmy Hoffa may eventually have something in common.
Update: Last night I was trying to think up appropriate music for "Operation Voodoo" and "The well ran dry" but I figured I could later add some to the campaign. Hats off to Archangel's Advocate who reminded me of Cole Porter's line: "Do do that voodoo that you do so well..." from You Do Something To Me, from the Musical 50 Million Frenchmen. This time around Amazon has the 30 second clip ♫ ... and once again, DEAD ON for the needed line.