Mac tagged me on this:
"What are the seven things that we, as Catholics, want or would like to see happen?"
1) If someone like, oh, say a Kennedy should die, their entire horrid pro-abortion clan doesn't trot up to Communion. If they disagree with the church they should have the guts and integrity to admit they've lost the faith. If a priest knowingly gives Communion to someone like B. Hussein Obama or Nancy Pelosi or the entire horrid pro-abortion Kennedy clan, the bishop MUST suspend faculties of the priest. IF the bishop doesn't do HIS job, the pope retires the bishop to count the holes in the accoustical tile of the lowest catacomb. It's a scandal, and high time it stopped.
2) Just once, I'd like to see some priest who does the EF form of Mass give a girl or woman a shot at serving the Mass to prove to me that the EF isn't a museum piece locked into 1962. Minor orders are gone, and frankly, it was a silly term for the functions they performed. Holy Orders are actual sacraments, those 4 functions weren't -- and east/west couldn't make up their minds regards the sub-deacon, then playing "All boys club" for serving should stop. There's ONE set of canon law rules, and they should apply to the EF form too, frankly. If the server represents "the people" it's high time to realize that 50% of "the people" are women and a woman/or girl can represent the body of pew sitters as well as a guy can. Why should the boys be taught the latin with great care, when the girls get invited to iron the altar cloths? Feh. Who wants to do "holy housework" at 9? Ironing the cloths is important, and necessary, but not something you want to do at age 9.
3) Oh, and can we quit with the "silent canon." I want to hear what the priest says. Might be nice in preference to: barking dogs, lawn mowers, fog horns, crying children, and ice-cream trucks that go "ding-a-ling-a-ling." And the choir should SHADDUP too. These singing yahoos over the centuries were one of the reasons the priests became mute during the canon. Do your bit, and stop riding over every thing. I'm following what the priest is doing, not listening to a concert. And in a high mass: Face us for the epistle and gospel, Okay? Not to some mythical barbarian to the north. If you want to face barbarians, look at the people, or SOUTH for that matter, those Muslims hordes are out to overrun us all.
4) Re: Catholic education. Revamp the whole thing so students have a clue other than simple simon stuff. They have NO idea how to defend the faith.
5) Stop waiting so long to give confirmation. DO NOT MAKE THEM JUMP THROUGH HOOPS! NO SERVICE PROJECTS. It's a sacrament. Let the grace work. [Pet peeve. They WAIT until the kids are old enough to get "busy-busy." 16-18 is TOO LATE.]
6) In any parish church (I'm not speaking of places like St. Peter's those are special cases) if you can't find the tabernacle within 5 seconds of entering, the place should be razed or put to rights. Whichever liturgical "team" approved the hide-and-go-seek tabernacle placement shall be immediately be put in the stockades so people can throw rotten fruit at them. And after that they will be stripped naked, tarred and feathered, and ridden out of town on a rail.
7. NO TERRYCLOTH bathtowel "things" for the lavabo. Ever. I mean it. It's T*A*C*K*Y. And I want BELLS, dammit. I don't give a flying hoot what Todd Brown and his little sychophants say.
8. Remove almost all "options" from the NO Mass. EP 2 or 3 should NEVER be used on a Sunday. Any priest who tries to "improve" by adding things shall be shot. Immediately. No questions. Not necessarily shoot to kill. A kneecapping will be adequate on the first offense. EP I must be used at least 2 Sundays out of 4.
9. EMs and Lectors (and deacons and servers for that matter) SHALL.KNOW.WHAT.IN.HELL.THEY.ARE.DOING or they don't get the gig. Anyone leaving an unconsummed chalice on the credence table at the side until after Mass like an unfinished cocktail will be summarily executed. Deacons need to learn the right way to purify vessels because too many don't have a clue. I've seen it, it's nasty.
10. Any cantor who uses the phrase "gathering song" will get ONE "warning shot" over his/her head. If they do it again. Tarred and feathered and sent over to the unitarian church where they are all aging hippies and don't know any better. And I'm with Mac re: a lot of the newer songs from the hippy days. 86 them or at least get rid of the ones that are questionable or outright heretical. The guitars need to go too. As a nice gesture IF Silent night is sung ON Christmas a single acoustic guitar may be used, otherwise forget it. I've always hated that song anyway.
11. The USCCB should stop prattling about economics. They know next to nothing. Ditto re: illegal aliens. We are NOT obligated to give a free ride for life to every Tom, Dick and Harry who makes it over the border. (There are exceptions for people who would be religiously persecuted, etc. But I'm talking about 99% of them.) Bernardin's "seemless garment" is a crock of crap, it just gives pro-aborts license to vote for liberals.
12. Shut down any purple palace seminaries. You know what I mean.
13. Every parish should have weekly benediction available at least once a week.
14. Frisbee Hosts. Gone. For. Good. Immediately. Instantly if not sooner. This one might even be number one.
This is more than 7, but I was on a roll and I might think up more. Gotta run. Project Runway's on.
And if you want to do this meme, go for it. It's too much fun to tag only seven people. So if you see yourself on my blogroll consider yourself tagged if you think it will be fun to do. Besides, notifying everyone they've been tagged is a pain in the kazoo.