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Saturday, November 14, 2009

Dang, I know a bank robber!!!!

Topic "A" of conversation this morning. When we came into work one of my coworkers came striding in with "GUESS who was out robbing banks?" We looked at him and he said "Roxanne." -- "DUDE!!!!" was heard, in stereo. It was an attention grabber. Then we all huddled around the computers to see "our" very own Bonnie. She 's about 5'4" if she jumps up and down a bit -- the kind of person you wouldn't think would be someone any more capable of doing any more hard than swatting a fly or threatening her kids with no TV if they didn't do their homework.

Until about 7 or so weeks ago, this woman worked in our office, and was fired for embezzeling. She must have been out on bail when she did this robbery last Friday. [Our young boss's dad works for the FBI in San Fran - so the boss had more than a little help in seeing that her butt would have been in jail eventually anyway.]


Glad my policy is to be nice to everyone in the office!!! The FIRST bank robbery she did (unless there is a string of others in another county! which they will be investigating) would have been about the time she got fired. Something we said? Oddly enough, I remember talking to her the Friday after work, the week before she started calling in "sick" and she was saying what a hard time she was having, yada yada -- and I said "Wouldn't it make more sense for you to get a job up in Poway, where you live?" 5 kids, all pretty young. She's wrecked her life and theirs. (And she's married too.) It was when she was out "sick" that the boss was able to finge3r her as an embezzler.

Ironically the boss is very nice about advancing people a little money in advance of their checks when they need it.

Desperate times. Bonnie Parker, please pick up the white courtesy phone.

8 comments:

Dino said...

But it is the banks and insurance companies that are the real robbers.

gemoftheocean said...

Yes and no -- at least they give you the occasional toaster.

Packrat said...

I'm glad you were nice to her, too. I just hope it isn't you she calls for help to bail her out of jail...

gemoftheocean said...

No chance. Unless I'm *real* personal friends with co-workers I tend to be "facebook? Why would I have a facebook account!"

Patricius said...

Does she do banks in the UK? After the treatment I received at our bank yesterday I should be more than happy to supply the address.

gemoftheocean said...

Patricius, probably if she was let out on bail -- But she's not the sharpest tool in the shed -- but she does pack her own piece. One wonders why she had to rob 3 banks in such a short amount of time. You'd think "gimme all your dough before I blow your head off" would get you more than $33.62.

I remember, years ago, about reading about a bank robbery attempt that had gone wrong for the would be robber -- he'd done something klutzy after making the people in the bank line give them their dough -- they managed to jump the guy and proceeded to beat the crap out of him -- he was a bloody pulb by the time le flics got there.

Stephen said...

Actually, I think the best failed bank robbery story I've ever heard is the one that happened a few months ago in Syracuse, NY. Some guy held up a bank by passing a note to a teller saying, essentially, give me all your money or I start shooting. So the teller complied... but the robber didn't get far, because his demand note was written on the back of an unpaid traffic ticket that had his name, address and SSN on it.

gemoftheocean said...

!classic illiterate dumbass!

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