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I wasn't going to do it, but I'm in a b*tch of a mood, and I can't resist the thought of having a winning entry for the Carolina Cannonball's Ugly Vestment Contest stashed away in a deep dark corner of a closet in my parish's own sacristy. I got the entry in just under the wire. Click the photo for full impact.
Given how deep in the sacristy this "garment" has been tucked away, it is safe to say some loving, but misguided hands made it for the pastor at some point in his life. He is an only child, and his mother is long dead -- I'm hoping he doesn't have any crazy cousins. He can't have commissioned or picked out this chasuble himself. Every other one in the sacristy shows good workmanship and fine taste.
I expect, perhaps at one time he felt compelled to wear it once (probably said something like "gee, because you made this chasuble for me, how would you like me to say Mass for you in your very own home?") But frankly, I 'd be surprised if it's seen the light of day since. The colors have not been photoshopped in any way. The stole is a solid yellow with a green cross on each end. It has a charming? red zipper on it's left shoulder along the seam. The cloth is about the consistency of a heavy cotton table cloth. Not polyester, but don't hold that against me.
The pastor is a big bruiser who could probably knock out the teeth of anyone should he have been "forced" to wear it at some point. I'm just sorry his dog hasn't grabbed it off the hanger and made off with it to some far distant exile.
CC will be organizing a poll on her blog about Dec. 14th or so. I do hope you'll go vote for my entry if you think it "worthy" enough. There's something really kitschy in the offing, and that thought alone pushed me over the edge.
Almighty God, forgive me, for I have sinned without number.
Update: Carolina Cannonball has her poll on line on her front page -- this one is number 38 "Daymare", for some generous reason she put it under "Men's vestments" -- apparently there isn't a "transgendered" category. To peek at the whole shebang of men's vestments look here. My dial-up chokes on loading them all up, but believe me, I think mine easily fits in the top three of "all world bad."
As they say in Cook County - vote early, vote often. And remember, this "thing" wasn't even found on line but in my own sacristy. So help me if the church ever catches on fire, it will be the first thing I throw in.
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