Blue Vestments. Evil Wimmin Porters. Chaucer! Rabelais! Balzac!

Fr. Z. of What does the Prayer Really Say has an interesting "annual rant" (his words) about the use of the color blue for Advent in some Latin Rite churches. Not to focus so much on the blue vestment angle here, but Father Z. made this remark in the body of his "rant:"

"However, if blue is ever approved I will probably resent the fact that widespread abuse led to that approval! That how the liberals got Communion in the hand and altar girls and the domination of the vernacular over Latin, etc., etc., etc."

Ahem.

What I'd like to know from Fr. Z. (and others so like-minded) is when he's going to go on a tear re: those evil wimmen acting as porters? When exactly did the pope sign off on this with the right jot and tittle? They're helping to collect and count the money and sometimes lock up the church -- clearly they're getting ideas above their stations.

If altar girls are going to be railed against, to be consistent, why not attack the moms who serve as "stealth porters?" Who do these wimmen think they are? Oh, sure, TODAY they say they only want to help count the money -- just you watch, before anyone can blink they'll be taking a cut from the collection and absconding with Father's car off to some Protestant church basement jumble, Haddassah Bridge Tournament, or Indian casino.

Father can't be seen taking the bus to his Wednesday afternoon game with his golf bag in tow. What will his confreres say when he finally shows up at the links? "Hah---there ya go, Charlie -- I see your wimmin porters made off with the Ford Explorer again... yer hen-pecked over there in St. Elijah's." Imagine the humiliation! They'll stick him with buying a round at the 19th hole for sure. "Dude, it's not like you're DRIVING or something...."

The wimmen will be appropriating the key to the Knights of Columbus liquor cabinet, and drinking up all Rum and Coke. And we all know how Old Man Pruet gets when the sauce runs out. He'll have a stroke if he finds out those wimmin got into it. They oughtta stick to those female drinks like mai-tais anyway.

Look out for their sons too....I bet they rebuckle their knickerbockers BELOW the knee. Rebels! Everyone of them!



CHAUCER! RABELAIS! BALZAC!
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