Great Priest's Name

You can't make this up. Father Stephanos reports that they had a fairly distinguished guest at Prince of Peace Abbey in Oceanside recently. He is Fr. Raniero Cantalamessa, who is assigned as preacher to the Papal Household. As someone else already pointed out, father's last name means "Sings the Mass" in Italian. I bet God had a special gleam in His eye when he tapped this man for the priesthood.

Fashion Felony - Guided by the Hand of God

Have you ever heard God laugh? I have. The best story I have to illustrate this is an incident which happened not long after my mother died, in 1995.

Dad at his sartorial best. Mom didn't need help.
The older I get, the younger they look.

Let me preset the story by going back a few years before that. My mother had done laundry and was helping my dad get ready for a business trip that he'd be taking for a few days. My dad was the manager of a bottling plant and occasionally he'd go on a bottler's convention, and "the guys" would also take time for a round of golf or two.

My dad, never a snappy dresser, occasionally had to be chided by mom for the odd fashion felony here and there - mom would catch him before he made it out the door. My dad had some casual clothes to take along for the "hanging out and playing golf" portion of the trip. There were two items that gave my mom concern: one a light blue shirt, with tiny white dots, as well as a pair of very thin stripe white/blue seersucker trousers. Both nice garments in their own right.

My mother looked at the two items and said to my dad: "Ed, these blues ARE about the same shade, and *you* will be tempted to wear them together, but stripes and dots Do. Not. Go. Together. PLEASE promise me that you will NOT wear them together, against my better judgment, I will pack them, but you have to promise me."

Dad said "sure, I promise." When dad got back, he had a souvenir photo of his golf foursome. What was he wearing? Yes. you guessed. Mom just shook her head and she and I laughed about that.

Fast forward to two afternoons past her death when dad and I were to go to the funeral parlor where a my mom had been prepared in her casket. It was the first time I would look at my mom since she had died, and I was a little concerned how I would handle that. Normally I'm good in crisis times but knew my dad tended to be a basket case in such matters. I'd not seen my dad that day, having last minute errands to run. We arrived at the funeral parlor separately, me first. He came in with my grandmother, and predictably, he was not holding up. Not that he was prone to tears, just that I knew that it would be the case this time and it was. I took some time calming him down and playing "good daughter."

When he was finally calm ... I suddenly noticed what he was wearing. If you guessed "links special" you are right. I *almost* *almost* laughed out loud right then and there.

The funeral director right then came over to me and asked if I'd like to go in first to see that everything was okay. I practically leapt from the chair and went in to be with her alone and said: "Mom, he DID IT AGAIN!!!!" I like to think this was the last private laugh my mother and I had together. I kissed her, and knew everything would be okay for me. I am QUITE sure God guided my dad's hand when he selected those two particular items to go together. I thought "GOOD ONE, God!"

Predictably, *I* fell apart three weeks later...but that sure helped at the time. I never told my dad about that, not wanting to chance hurting his feelings ... but I expect he knows about it now.
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I heard God Laughing ... So Help Me!

What up? What down? Gee, this tune sounds Funny...

Didja ever have one of those things happen at church when you KNOW you're not supposed to laugh, but you almost kill yourself trying not to bust a gut? We had something like that happen the other week on Sunday. I know God attends every worship service, but this time I think it was under duress! Towards the beginning of a Roman Catholic Mass, often times the Gloria is sung. Well...we've been singing the same Gloria now for a few years. Our cantor started off just fine. As did the organist. Everything was "jake" -- for exactly two bars. Then apparently some unforseen force lifted the music from the organist's perch and flipped it upsidedown. NO KIDDING.

All of a sudden the music was 1/3 of an octave lower...and not only that, the melody was now a completely different tune...and the organist's fingers were stumbling. I was sitting at the side of the sanctuary, and looked up to see if someone had conked him over the head and taken his place. By about bar 5, everyone, except the poor cantor, had stopped singing...as we didn't know if it was fish or fowl. Or just foul. This went on for another few bars...the organist apparently oblivious to the fact that he is playing some otherworldly never before heard tune. Rather loudly...so loudly the 1st soprano cantor just was having a devil of a time, keeping in tune herself. At this point the congregation was all smiles poking each other. The priest had that "I sit down for a few minutes myself, and look what happens" expression. I suddenly decide that it's really not fair to let the cantor twist in the wind all by her lonesome, and decide to lend my contralto voice...maybe if I sing loudly, she can also get the tune back... Ha-ha.... IT did help, because then everyone else felt sorry for us too and started joining in.... There was a point or two where the organist finally "righted" himself...but then he'd go off track again.

Finally, after about what seemed like 10 minutes (normally it takes about 2 ...and I'm sure it did this time, but it was surreal) we finished. The cantor stepped back in her place at the other side of the sanctuary, and we both simultaneously, almost imperceptibly shrugged our shoulders just a wee half inch. After Mass. We BOTH wondered what in heckers had gotten in to the organist...but decided it was probably best not to "go there."

The whole time I could hear the Almightly, rolling on a cloud, laughing His...oh, never mind.

(posted on my Telegraph, July 19, 2007)