For not posting yesterday. In honor of Earth Day I was gas-assing around in a Humvee, leaving as big a carbon foot print as I possibly could. I mooned Al Gore, burned down a rain forest, left all the lights on everywhere I went, and made sure to strew enough plastic bags around the gutters. Then I wasted water by hosing them down the sewerage system, and out to the ocean, where they will undoubtedly choke a bunch of transgendered dolphins and whales, and maybe even some baby seals. I also smoked half a carton of Camel Cigarettes, just to piss people off. I urged everyone I saw to stop doing what they were doing and go make some more babies. Then I rented a private Lear jet and just got back from doing an around the world victory lap. So I'm just a weensie bit tired. But I can probably still find some asbestos to poke holes in.
BTW: I'm celebrating "Earth Day" as an Octave ! This morning I asked for plastic at the checkout stand...and smiled after some long haired Maggot infested New York Times readin', Jerry Springer Watching ageing behind-me-in-line hippy said "wow, after all Ophra said about plastic bags yesterday." (She was emaciated and had green skin, too!) I'm going to drive around the block a few times extra just in her honor today. And then I'm going to change the oil in my car and put the oil in some landfil.
ROTFLMAO!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, and I've been having enough hot flashes this last week to raise the temperature of the earth 1 degree Fahrenheit all by myself.
ReplyDeleteThis entry isnt helping my cough its soo funny my attempts to laugh are coughs
ReplyDeleteSorry Joe, have a whiskey, it won't cure you, but you won't care!
ReplyDelete[thanks, glad I made you and Angela M laugh - sometimes when you [that's "one" to you UK volken] write this stuff it's hard to tell if you're making anyone else laugh]
ROFLMAO too! I actually tuned into thee news yesterday and Oprah was just finishing and I heard her call to stop using plastic bags. LOL! I take extra plastic bags at the store to place the used cat litter in.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe a customer would actually say that to another in the store. I'm embarrassed to even mention I catch the ending of the Oprah show - she is right before the 5PM news here.
Honest to God. When that happened this morning I chuckled right in her face!
ReplyDeleteI celebrated by burning a 12 foot high pile of brush and tree limbs and driving a diesel tractor for a solid hour. I wouldn't have done it on "Earth Day" if AlGore hadn't dared me to do it.
ReplyDeleteI am getting a top of the range 4 by 4 landrover in the next few weeks! Really!
ReplyDeleteAh Karen, I just LOVE the fact you write what I think!
ReplyDeleteJackie, I thought Andrew was a p'liceman, not a bank robber. ;-D [Good on you! ]
ReplyDeleteMum: Well, It's a privilege to say what you want without caring after age 50. OF course I did that BEFORE I was 50 too...